His hands

His hands on my body
Soft
Warm
Gentle
Light to the touch he reaches my soul
Makes me alive
Makes me beautiful
His touch scorches and scolds
His touch soothes and comforts
I live trough his hands
Trough his breath
His every heartbeat

The world shifts

His touch is getting firmer
Nails digging into my flesh
His body heavy
His body a mountain
Impossible to move

I scream and kick
In my head

Why is there no sound?
Not a sound that pass my lips
Why do I not move?
Not even a flicker of an eye

In my head I am screaming
In my mind I am kicking
Clawing at his face
Crying loud enough that someone will hear
Someone will help

I see myself lying silent
Still
Not moving
Not making a sound

Paralysed

A deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck

Knowing I can only make it out alive
By letting go

I let go

It's over now

I'm still alive

More or less

Something inside has died
Gone forever
No return

I can vaguely recall a light
Small and fragile
A light that was me

Now there's nothing left

A black void
Surrounded by chaos
Despair
No return
No way out
No return

No more me

Only guilt